Dr Upanish Oli, Research Assistant on this project, had a conversation with Margaret, 79, [White British] and Bob, 78, [White British] where they reflect on their 20 years of retirement.
During a delightful chat about ageing, Upanish picked up few things about their lives. Margaret has been active all her life. She mentioned she was much more active 20 years ago when her knees weren’t an issue.
“I didn’t think I’d have knee problems back then.”
Although she still enjoys exercising and walking, she’s mindful of being gentler now.
“Even if my knees were better, perhaps I couldn’t walk as fast now due to my age.”
One thing Margaret and Bob believe that has changed is that they used to go on many holidays.
“We have travelled to one to two places in the world, haven’t we? We have been fortunate to be able to have those experiences.”
They have not been able to go on a holiday this year because Margaret is waiting to get her knees sorted. They do have a Mediterranean trip planned for later this year, though they’re disappointed they can’t visit certain destinations due to political issues.
Bob has to wait for 3 years for an endoscopy procedure as he has been having difficulty swallowing solid food.
“I have been told about the long waiting list. It’s ok if it doesn’t happen, I can get by. I can’t manage what I used to eat. I have to have a smaller portion.” Bob says “I didn’t think I could make it to 78. I am grateful.”
He is aware that most members of the group they attend to have got chronic conditions, “That’s life isn’t it?”
They enjoy life’s simple pleasures, such as visiting relatives, attending groups, dining out, going to the theatre, and watching TV. However, they are concerned about the current TV and cinema content.
“We avoid violent shows and those with bad language. The quality of entertainment has declined, so we choose carefully.”
A lack of nearby bus service also limits their mobility.
They believe that to attain successful ageing one needs to keep the body and brain active.
“I do a crossword every day, read the paper and play bridge. Margaret runs a quiz group through U3A, a UK-wide movement of locally-run interest groups that provide a wide range of opportunities to come together to learn for fun.”
Bob is particularly worried about the idea of ending up in a care home saying,
“Boy oh boy, I don’t want to end up in a care home, you get institutionalised. When you look at some patients in there, it makes us want to keep going.”
The couple understands the need for nearby support as they age. They are considering downsizing the house and moving near relatives. But at the same they don’t want to be a burden to others.
“The other thing about moving to a different part of the country is we are leaving all our friends, I don’t want to go somewhere and stagnate. We have lived here for 57 years and created lots of memories.”
But they agree that they have to act according to the needs of the time.
“You do have to go out into the world as the world is not going to come to you.”
For successful ageing, Margaret advises maintaining a healthy diet, doing gentle exercises, walking, joining groups. She still attends steady step classes which helps with her balance. She stresses the importance of looking presentable.
“It’s essential to take pride in yourself and look after your appearance.”
Bob emphasizes socialising and interacting with others.
“I spent most of my working life on the road, which cut me off from people,” he reflected.
Margaret does point out few positives of getting older.
“You don’t need to worry about many things, you can get up as you wish, no need to rush about in the morning.”
Bob points out that the biggest factor that determines how your older age is going to pan out is the finances available.
“You have to be thinking about retirement from an early age. You can’t just rely upon the state pensions if you want to have a reasonable retirement.”
They feel that there were many things they wouldn’t be able to do had they not saved enough.
Their biggest fear is losing each other, which would drastically change their lives. Margaret also fears dementia and longs for a good quality of life.
“I don’t think I’d like it if I couldn’t go out.”
They advocate self-care, balanced diets, and exercises like steady step classes for stability. Recognising and adapting to physical and mental limitations is crucial as circumstances change.