Written by Andrew, 63 years old [Black Caribbean].
When I was younger, I saw my parents growing old. They had to do different things to manage themselves. I saw people lose their sight, others lost their mobility and I said to myself, “I hope it doesn’t happen to me.” When she was 70 years old, I remember my grandmother being very active. She did a lot of things to keep herself busy like going to church, gardening etc, so I resolved that I was not going to just sit down and drink tea in my old age. I was young and youthful with lots of energy and strength, and nothing seemed impossible for me to do but now I am older, my strength is limited, and I seem not to have the energy to do a lot of things. Now I find myself doing almost the same things my parents and grandmother did to stay active in old age.
I love travelling. Every year I travel to Barbuda by myself, using the accessibility vehicles available in airports. There is a lot of support from my family once I arrive in Barbuda. In fact, I’m hoping to go on holiday this year and I’m really looking forward to it. I also like attending events around UK such as the Caribbean Carnivals, Christian conferences etc. When I was younger, I used to sell posters, whistles, and wristbands at the carnivals but now I am unable to, so I simply watch the parade tapping to the rhythm of loud Caribbean music.
Quite honestly, I never planned for old age or even gave it much thought. However, I have life insurance which means there will be no financial burden on my family when that time comes. In Barbuda where I come from, we don’t really plan for old age, we just live one day at a time; I’m a “live-as-you-go kind of bloke”.
Nonetheless, I like being with my family, meeting up with old friends and attending church activities. Few months ago, I lost my older sister. She was well travelled and very active. She fell ill briefly and within six months she died. It made me think about death and its inevitability. Different people handle aging differently. I remember my uncles and my aunts, they lived up to their 80s and 90s but they just kept going, travelling back and forth to Barbuda. Some bought houses as part of their retirement plan, but I had not managed to. Old age is a lot different; you realise you don’t have the energy to do some things even though you want to.
To my mind, successful ageing is accepting the fact that you have got to that age and try to help the younger generation avoid the mistakes you made, like drinking, cohabiting rather than marrying, and so on. Try to be happy in your old age. I am thankful that I’m able to move around, though sometimes I use a walking stick to take the pressure off my bones. I am happy because I can get out and about. Success is not all about being rich financially. For me, health is wealth.
Now that I am older, I have a better understanding of people and how they react to things. I have come to that broader realisation that it is not about colour; it is about God doing what He wants to do with His creation. Sometimes I like speaking to other people from different backgrounds just to try and understand where racism came from. I am still baffled by the fact that people can decide to dislike you or treat you differently because of your race. I still do not understand it. Another good thing about being older is that I have more leisure time. I can afford to take things slower and just enjoy nature. There are a few things I would still like to do such as travel in a driverless car and drive through the channel tunnels in France.
The thing I fear most is not being able to do things for myself. I used to fear dying but I do not fear death anymore. It is a natural process of life. Moreover, the Bible tells me that if I live a life of righteousness then death becomes a transition into eternal life. That gives me joy.